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Jesse Cox
Jesse Cox is one of the two hosts on Cox n' Crendor in the Morning. He is an out-of-job teacher turned ou t-of-job voice actor turned asshole on the internet. Jesse runs a YouTube channel simply called Jesse Cox/omfgcata. Cox n' Crendor Universe In the Cox n' Crendor universe, Jesse is a womanizing pimp. Or at least, he is in his head. Jesse has also shown a greater tendancy for evil, from selling out to the Mayan Robots to planning to order fried bannanas from a Japanese resturant and murdering the people that deliver it. Although he doesn't run any of the main segments, he's Jesse Cox. Deal with it. Actually, his job primarily consists of keeping the show off track. Jesse is the high priest of The Great Space Butterfly, and the proud owner of a Ginger Beard. Jesse is the creator or discoverer of many characters and recurring themes in the Cox n' Crendor universe; Guy Hero, The Grey Storm, Florida Man, The Yule Lads, Choppter Copter 7, Jeff from Chilly D's, the list goes on. As a repayment for all this high quality entertainment, he is responsible for most of the show's rapping. Equipment - Glowing Katana - Glasses of the enternal goddess. - GoopityGahp-GahpGahpGhee Shirt - Ginger Beard - Lots of Tumblr Gifs - Inverse Soul Patch - Jar of Cookie Butter Abilities - Blessing of The Space Butterfly - Amatuer Voice Acting - Didgeridoo Dubstep - Communications Degree - Ass-Grab Dance - Derailing - Extreme Disguises I.E Mystery Women - Able to lift things with his mind due to his 220 iq. Holo-Tombstone QuotesCategory:Characters * Take the woman! She's got the money, take her! * The only good science is the kind that's like To get laid, you do this." * You suck, world! * How's that strawberry sack doing? * If you wanna eat dog food, just go for it. * Be the white knight, don't be the squire. * I almost even tried, and that was bad. * If they did it, they did it, and if they didn't do it, they didn't do it. * I am happy ya old bird, now get in the kitchen and make me cookies God dammit! * Technically, it's like brain fapping. * Crazy people will always be crazy. * I don't give a damn about your family Heisenberg! You get your shit back on the streets and you deal drugs! * I almost believed something existed, until I started reading about it. * Yeah China, why don't you get to work on making an English sweat-shop!? * Honesty is all I've got. Besides lies. * Cats are the worst ever. * Find someone else to drive your ass to the salon ya dumb hoe. * Why can't there be a number where women call me and I go bang em? * I can't swallow it whole or my poops will come out too hard! * Dude sticks and stones hurt, dick! * Look, I'm just saying I want a really nice ass. * I'm just saying, if you're gonna bang animals at least have high standards. * We had a good run, World, but you're dumb as shit. * I am very hungry for sweets, listener. * What if you were Jesus? Then you would get no gifts, and then killed. * Look, Laura. If you need a new... Let's call ourselves "Dick" and "Penis," if you need a new Dick and Penis give us a call. * After you're forty jewelry is the only way you're gettin any, so you might as well accept it. * Dammit Ben! You're a quarterback, you should be out there sexually harassing women. What's the matter with you. * Look, I want your meats. * Look, all I'm saying is I want to murder Hugh Jackman and wear his skin. * Just eat oatmeal every day, til your poops come slimin' out. * If you want to write in and describe your butts, and if you have any pictures for evidence to back this up, we would gladly accept it. It's for science. * Shut it wolves, get me a beer! * That means in the future I can have brain powers! * Look, bros. I know you probably think it's really awesome that your brother has four young girls held hostage, but it's not a good thing. * Cheese is like God juice.